Project Star

Project Star from SDS, CityU
Copyright: LIU, MAN PO

Book Review

This book is called ‘自我與人際關係’. It introduces a lot of psychological concepts and practical methods for us to follow. The following two concepts – Conflict Management and Emotions influence me a lot and I would like to take this golden opportunity to share with you.

I am the person who cares about others’ feelings more than myself. In the Conflict Management Modes, I belong to ‘Accommodating’. This book suggests that sometimes it is good to obey others’ instructions but not all the time. It is true that I always neglect my own feelings and feel unhappy afterwards. I need to be brave to share my inner feelings to others so that others can take my preference into considerations. Otherwise, others may think that I agree with them and even take advantage on me. Most significantly, it is wise to announce our ultimate moral standards so that others will not encourage us to do something that unacceptable. It is hoped that ‘collaborating’ mode (Digging into a problem to identify the underlying concerns of both parties and to find an alternative which meets both sets of concern) will be my style in Conflict Management.

The book also introduces some emotion management approaches. I have a prejudice that a high EQ person will not show his anger to others. After reading this book, I realized that it is of importance to share your emotions to others. Through sharing your emotions, you will feel relieved. Inhibiting your angers or emotions, instead, would make you feel stressed and hence harms your mental health. A high EQ leader would talk his/her emotions to teammates in a peaceful way. Apart from that, the book also provides some substantial suggestions to readers. It is also vital to have self-talk in a quiet environment after school or work. You can feel your inner emotions and then try to figure out the reasons behind and solve it eventually.

Reflection from the voluntary service

Through joining this voluntary service, I know my personality better.

I am an introvert person. I like internal reflection rather than external stimulation. For example, I would think about the deeper meaning of visiting elderly. Is social healthcare system needed to change? Is it waste of time visiting the elderly as they have already got used to it? I will think before I act, unlike some of my friends, act before they think. For instance, I had tried my very best to think about the discussion topic before I visited the elderly.

I am also a sensing person. I am good at observation, especially like observing some social phenomenon in deep, like the poverty problems among the old people in Hong Kong. I am a conservative man and like following rules. When the leader of this service reminded us not to say something that may trigger their emotions, I remembered in mind and did not say anything wrong during whole service.

I prefer feelings than thinking. It is good that we should pursue fairness, but I will considerate others’ needs in first priority. Being a Christian, I have to serve the people in need, just like what Jesus Christ does. In the voluntary work, I enjoyed helping the elderly even though I was required to work for many hours and scarified my own free time in weekends.

Last but not least, I am a traditional man. I like planning before doing anything. For this service, I planed it before one month. I need to make sure that everything will go smoothly and I can get control of it. Sometimes it is good, but I need to be more flexible so that I can be clam when I encounter unpredictable problems or difficulties.