給Satir 的每一位朋友

給Satir 的每一位朋友： 工作坊完結了三個星期，很感恩，我跟幾位朋友至今仍然保持聯. 有的會跟我談心，有的會跟我說說笑。我很感恩，認識他們。 我也開始做回自己，欣賞自己的優點。我增加了對自己的認同, 不是不斷爭取別人的認同。有時會想得到別人的認同，而做一些自己不喜歡但別人喜歡的事 。有時會為了討好人，而放棄了自己的一些原則。 有時會為了跟別人和睦相處，對於對方的不合理而勉強附和 。其實自己是行走在別人規範的路 ，而不是自己想行的路。我領悟到，沒有別人的認同，不代表自己做得不對 。而是自己身處的環境和人群不對。 自己認同自己，自己對自己有自信，自己欣賞自己。 已經很好, 因為你在掌控你自己的生命，不是其他人。 家庭方面。有時抽離一下也是很好的。有時自己的能力很有限, 幫不了他們解決太多,即使幫了他們, 他們也會有機會再犯相同的錯誤 。 正確跟他們說出自己的感受 ，讓他們了解自己。背著仇恨度日很辛苦， 那麼你就自己選擇放下，關心自己多點, 讓自己不要在這無日無之的爭吵中迷失了自己。 記住，你們每一個都是獨特的，你們都有起碼一個我欣賞的優點。有的很坦白，有的很可愛，有的很勇敢，有的很開朗，有的很有愛心，有的很愛家，有的很堅強 ‥‥‥ 你們肯去學習，願意花時間來這工作坊，你們已經很棒了。你們令我領悟到每個人都是上帝精心創造的結晶品。每一個都有其價值。希望你們要好好活出自己。加油！ Steven (一個感恩遇上你們的人)

愛自己

家庭方面

-          有時抽離一下也是很好的,

-          有時自己的能力很有限, 幫不了他們解決太多,

-          即使幫了他們, 他們也會有機會再犯

-          正確跟他們說出自己的感受

-          讓他們了解自己

-          其實他們還是依舊爭執

-          背著仇恨度日很辛苦

-          那麼你就自己選擇放下

-          關心自己多點, 讓自己不要在這無日無之的爭吵中迷失了自己

接受自己的不完美

-          自己會很自卑

-          會將自己的缺點放大

-          但其實別人也有屬於他自己的缺點

-          自己不必強迫自己要成為一個很多優點的人

-          有時過多的與人比較會令自己很大壓力  做不到心目中的那個自己會很自責和失落

-          只要做回自己 欣賞自己的優點

-          其實可以活得很開心

希望增加對自己的認同, 不是爭取別人的認同

-          有時會想得到別人的認同  而做一些自己不喜歡但別人喜歡的事

-          有時會為了討好人  而放棄了自己的一些原則

-          有時會為了跟別人和睦相處   對於對方的不合理而勉強附和

-          其實自己是行走在別人規範的路

-          而不是自己想行的路

-          沒有別人的認同  不代表自己做得不對

-          只是自己身處的團體不對

-          自己認同自己  自己對自己有自信   自己欣賞自己

-          已經很好, 因為你在掌控你自己的生命  不是其他人

搞笑

Project Star

Project Star from SDS, CityU
Copyright: LIU, MAN PO

Book Review

This book is called ‘自我與人際關係’. It introduces a lot of psychological concepts and practical methods for us to follow. The following two concepts – Conflict Management and Emotions influence me a lot and I would like to take this golden opportunity to share with you.

I am the person who cares about others’ feelings more than myself. In the Conflict Management Modes, I belong to ‘Accommodating’. This book suggests that sometimes it is good to obey others’ instructions but not all the time. It is true that I always neglect my own feelings and feel unhappy afterwards. I need to be brave to share my inner feelings to others so that others can take my preference into considerations. Otherwise, others may think that I agree with them and even take advantage on me. Most significantly, it is wise to announce our ultimate moral standards so that others will not encourage us to do something that unacceptable. It is hoped that ‘collaborating’ mode (Digging into a problem to identify the underlying concerns of both parties and to find an alternative which meets both sets of concern) will be my style in Conflict Management.

The book also introduces some emotion management approaches. I have a prejudice that a high EQ person will not show his anger to others. After reading this book, I realized that it is of importance to share your emotions to others. Through sharing your emotions, you will feel relieved. Inhibiting your angers or emotions, instead, would make you feel stressed and hence harms your mental health. A high EQ leader would talk his/her emotions to teammates in a peaceful way. Apart from that, the book also provides some substantial suggestions to readers. It is also vital to have self-talk in a quiet environment after school or work. You can feel your inner emotions and then try to figure out the reasons behind and solve it eventually.

Reflection from the voluntary service

Through joining this voluntary service, I know my personality better.

I am an introvert person. I like internal reflection rather than external stimulation. For example, I would think about the deeper meaning of visiting elderly. Is social healthcare system needed to change? Is it waste of time visiting the elderly as they have already got used to it? I will think before I act, unlike some of my friends, act before they think. For instance, I had tried my very best to think about the discussion topic before I visited the elderly.

I am also a sensing person. I am good at observation, especially like observing some social phenomenon in deep, like the poverty problems among the old people in Hong Kong. I am a conservative man and like following rules. When the leader of this service reminded us not to say something that may trigger their emotions, I remembered in mind and did not say anything wrong during whole service.

I prefer feelings than thinking. It is good that we should pursue fairness, but I will considerate others’ needs in first priority. Being a Christian, I have to serve the people in need, just like what Jesus Christ does. In the voluntary work, I enjoyed helping the elderly even though I was required to work for many hours and scarified my own free time in weekends.

Last but not least, I am a traditional man. I like planning before doing anything. For this service, I planed it before one month. I need to make sure that everything will go smoothly and I can get control of it. Sometimes it is good, but I need to be more flexible so that I can be clam when I encounter unpredictable problems or difficulties.